|Old Entry reposted
||[Jul. 14th, 2006|02:48 pm]
Bipolar Disorder - Dealing with the North N' South
|||||RADIO - Damn Commercials||]|
I was checking out an old journal of mine which I used to post to back in the day when I wasn't doing so well. So I found this entry and I thought I'd post it... because I still feel this way:
Moods and weather are much the same for me.
Both are virtually unpredictable.
That really sucks.
So I'm thinking...again...as always....
I wish I had a "mood"man in my head to be serve the similar purpose of a "weather"man.
A familiar face in my head that I could tune in to now and then to get a forecast on what to expect regarding my moods in a 7 day forecast. Day by day. Just to know...
To be prepared... Kinda like being prepared for weather. When it calls for rain, we bring an umbrella. When it calls for a hot day, we wear shorts and SPF skin cancer-prevention lotion and a hat to avoid heat stroke.
It sure would be nice to be prepared for my moods. To know in advance...
If I knew tomorrow was going to suck, I would take lots of sleeping pills so I wouldn't wake up... so I'd sleep most the day away. Sleep makes time go by so fast.
If I knew tomorrow was going to be great and I'd be happy, I'd go and buy some film, batteries and get my camera ready to capture those memories and I'd call all my friends to let them know that, "hey, I'm gonna be in a good mood tomorrow. It's safe. Call so and so and let them know and make sure you guys all show up so we can party."
Just thoughts... always thinking. Wheels always going.
On that note, I wonder when my next oil check up is... wonder if my gears in my brain will ever cease up and stop? What would happen then? Would that be a good thing? Stop thinking?
Something to ponder. To think or not to think.... hmmmmmmmm....what would be easier?
Rantings of a nutbar...Just a sample of random thoughts that constantly plague my disordered mind.
Despite all this, I'd like to report today went well and I feel swell. Hope my "mood"man prediction will be that this will hold up for the weekend. Would really be nice. Have a good one all.